I'd love to write a more lighthearted post, but due to an incident that happened to me this week, I needed to get this off my mind.
I wish I didn't have a reason to write this, but I hope it can bring awareness to others out there, so here goes.
Google runner safety and you're sure to find numerous articles filled with self-defense products, safety gear, (like light up vests), and personal safety tips. Most of them offer good, sound advice, which I agree is wise to follow. But how do you prepare yourself for the unexpected situations, especially if you are alone? You see, even though I usually do all the right things, I still had a scary and potentially dangerous encounter!
I want to start by saying thankfully, I'm Ok! I feel very lucky that I got home quickly and safely, because sadly that's not always the case. Over the past few years, I've become increasingly aware of stories about women going for a run and never coming home, so I try to stay vigilant and alert. (This can happen to anyone, not just women). I'm certainly not living under the pretense that I'm invincible. I don't have a false sense of security or "this can't happen to me attitude." I am careful. I take precautions. I spend a lot of time by myself, so I change up my route, change the times I run, run on trail and roads, carry protective devices, and always tell someone where I'm going. My Garmin even has an emergency contact button, but all the precautions in the world won't necessarily stop a perpetrator who has something planned.
I feel I am genuinely lucky, and I hope that sharing my situation helps bring awareness to others.
During this encounter, it seems I did all the things we runners are taught: - I didn't run at night. - I was aware of my surroundings. - I didn't have headphones in. - I run at different times of day. - I changed my route. - I had a dog with me. - I have a protective device. The fact is, I still had a very creepy encounter. Thank God I didn't get the chance find out why this man had fabricated a story and what he had planned, because he clearly had a plan! This happened in the park next to my house which is not in a bad area. Normally I'm aware of the people around me. In order to stay on the "offensive," I'll typically say a short "hello," or wave to let people know I'm aware of them, but you can't always predict how other people will behave.
About two hours after I got home safely, I debated whether or not to share my experience with one of my women's running groups. In retrospect, I'm glad I decided to share my story because if this encounter can happen to me in broad daylight, it can happen to anyone. Unfortunately, there are predators out there. I am not just labelling this man a predator. I try my best to treat everyone with respect, but due to the nature of our interaction, I believe that he indented to do harm.
I don't know if he was on drugs, though he didn't seem like it. His speech sounded normal like he was in his right mind. He didn't appear disheveled or dirty. He looked like your average late 20's to mid 30's man. If he had looked homeless, on drugs, or appeared to be doing anything out of the ordinary, there's no way I would have passed by him. So, you can't always rely on how someone looks to make a judgement call.
The encounter.
This happened Monday afternoon in broad daylight. I was at the park less than a quarter mile from my home with my dog. She's young and still gets excited easily around new people. When I reached the 1-mile mark I noticed a man sitting alone on a bench a little ways off, but paid him no mind. I also noticed a lady with two dogs, an off leash chihuahua and a lone teen on roller skates, (because my dog sniffed the chihuahua and the teen complimented my dog), so noticing the man wasn't anything extraordinary. This is a heavily trafficked park next to a middle school. My dog was getting overly stimulated by the other dogs and people, so about halfway up the walk, I decided to turn around and go the other way. I went to the other end of the park and soon forgot about the man. Everything seemed normal...so far.
After mile 2, my pup needed a break, so I decided to take her home. I noticed the same man sitting on the bench. I thought about turning and going the other way again, because I really didn't feel like handling an overstimulated dog, but I figured she needed to practice walking by people without getting excited, so I kept going. I didn't expect to interact with the man. He appeared to be minding his own business, so why would he bother me? At one point, I thought he may have been checking his phone, because he looked down...Right?
When I got closer, he asked if he could ask me something. I've been asked for directions on runs a lot, so that's what I expected him to say. Nope!
I'm certain now he was trying to lure me. I remember he was so calm it was creepy, I think my adrenaline kicked in. He said he accidentally (seriously) tied himself to the bench and forgot to bring his keys. Then he asked if I would go get his keys which were sitting on a different sidewalk just around the bend, and hand them to him. Yes, HAND them to him! (I remember seeing his keys from where I was standing). As he was talking to me, I noticed he was holding both ends of the rope around himself. The more I replay this in my head, the more bizarre the whole interaction seems! I'm really grateful I didn't fall for his story. I'm certain that he did not "accidentally" tie himself up, especially with his keys laying on the other sidewalk. I'd wager the rope wasn't tied, but (like I told dispatch) I wasn't going to find out. I said, "sorry no!" and headed off fast! I remember looking over my shoulder and changing my path in case he followed me. I called the police while shaking and dispatch sounded really concerned about what the man asked me as well. She actually said, "OMG that's really weird" and she needed to get an officer out there ASAP in case he was still out there! I feel super lucky that I made it home without further incident. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't report him and someone got hurt.
Did I wonder if he was telling the truth? NOPE...because who accidentally ties themselves up with a rope? He had my alarm bells going off all over the place. If I had been too nice, things could've ended up much worse. I don't know if he had a weapon like a knife and wanted me to be within reach, or if he was going to use the rope on me...not sure if this was random and he was just waiting for anyone to pass by? I told this story to some close family and the possibility of trafficking came up more than once... Yikes! I hope that's not the case, but hopefully I'll never know what he had planned.
These were the thoughts I had when I had a chance to breathe. Was I mean to leave him if he was really tied up? I don't think so because first, I didn't believe him, and second, the police could help him. Thinking about it today, I'm relieved things didn't escalate! It's hard to wrap my head around the fact that anyone would try to lure someone this way, but that's what happened. I will still go outdoors, but I will be looking over my shoulder for a while. Now, I'm a little nervous to be outside alone, but I don't want to be afraid. I hope everyone stays safe out there. I know we're all told to be careful, or to be nice, but please be safe. I heard "be nice" so much when I was young, but it's not always an appropriate response to every situation. Be smart as well as aware! Please don't feel bad for telling someone "no." If something seems wrong, it probably is.
So many people have given me well intentioned advice on things I already do, like don't run at night, carry pepper spray, take a dog. It's like if I check all the boxes, I'll be safe. Unfortunately, this isn't the reality, because I did all these things, and it still didn't stop the man I encountered. While these are good suggestions, (and pepper spray is something I'd recommend), I need to be prepared to get away or defend myself if something happens, in case there isn't anyone around who can help me.
You are capable of so much more than you think. Thanks for reading and have a safe week everyone.
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